Nobody teaches us how to do sex, intimacy, and relationship—even though these are some of the most central aspects of being human, connecting with others, and living a fulfilling life. Most of us grapple with the challenges of intimacy on our own, picking up bits of guidance from our families, cultures, religions, schooling, media, or other sources. Some of this might be helpful, some of it’s useless or dogmatic, and some of it can be downright ridiculous or damaging. Even if we emerge from the above relatively unscathed, many of us reach adulthood wondering: is this all there is? We know that sex, intimacy, and relationship can be better, more. We want more, even if we can’t name exactly what it is that we want. We know we have the capacity for more. And we do. Sex and relationship coaching is for everyone who has the capacity for more—and wants to learn how to get it. I help you discover what you want. Not what anyone else wants, not what any of those old sources said you should want… what you want. And then, I help you learn and practice the skills and build the confidence to create the sex, intimacy, and relationships you desire.

Somatic means “of the body.” What this means for us in coaching: we’re going to get out of our heads and into our bodies—and see what stories our bodies have to tell. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably realized that you can talk circles around something—understand it cognitively inside-and-out—and still not solve it or see meaningful change or growth. How frustrating. This is because the old adage, I think, therefore I am, is only half-correct. There’s another, just as clever, storyteller living in the states of our nervous systems and bodies. Its proverb is: I am, therefore I think. And it’s ever-busy, sometimes in the shadows of our consciousnesses, crafting all kinds of tales about who we are, what we want, and even the very nature of our relationships and realities. We must listen to its stories, too, if we’re to grow, heal, connect, and both know and get what we want. Especially when it comes to sex and intimacy—a most intricate dance between our cognitive and embodied selves. Together, using evidence-based, somatic practices, we’ll explore the stories your body is telling. We’ll dig down into your body’s language—sensation, tension, breath, pulse, heat—to learn how to listen, converse, and ultimately co-author its stories.

Experiential means knowledge that comes from experience. In coaching, this means we’re not just going to talk about your life, problems, wants, desires, dreams, secrets, messy bits, etc. We’ll enter together a “relationship lab,” where we’ll dive in and play in the fun & muck of it all together. Because while traditional talk therapy can be helpful, the experiential “relationship lab” is like a super-power-pellet for learning and growth. When we have an authentic experience, we store the feelings, sensations, and emotions associated with that experience in our bodies and minds. It harnesses neuroplasticity—the actual re-wiring of our brains and ingrained behaviors and patterns. We can then transport that felt experience out into the world and integrate it into our lives and relationships. What does this look like in sessions? Well, if we’re talking about navigating boundaries, we might do a fun exercise where we play with feeling out and bumping into each other’s boundaries in a safe space. We’d experiment with responding to and managing the feelings that arise from both asserting our own boundaries and navigating other's boundaries. Then, you’d head out in the world equipped with the confidence that only comes with experience to practice in your relationships! Rest assured: with any experiential work, we’ll always go at your pace and it’s always your choice whether you want to engage in any exercise or not. Consent is sexy and our work together is a perfect place to practice that, as well!

Stories and words are sexy. As a writer, this is one of my favorite play-spaces! Here's the really fun part about understanding the stories our bodies and brains tell us: we gain the language to craft our own stories at their intersections—the places they converge. Being a person—in all our multiplicities of self—is a weird, fragmented, ever-shifting experience. I'm reminded often of Emerson's famous words, "Our moods do not believe in each other." By crafting your story, you take ownership of it, shape it, expand it, begin to captain its craggy geography and give it cohesion and meaning. In coaching, I’ll invite you to explore your story from different angles, altitudes, and entry-points. From your brain to your big toes, your heart to your generation-wrought bones, and everywhere in-between. We can use words and writing if that’s a modality that feels comfortable to you—or not! There are so many ways to tell stories. If you desire, I will also suggest books, poems, snippets of prose, lyrics, songs, quotes, art, and other findings that are relevant to your journey as we explore together. I believe one of the best ways to learn and expand our own menus of how to be human is the long, human legacy of stories and art. And I want you to have a big, beautiful, ever-expanding menu to choose from!

My typical sessions are 60-minutes or 90-minutes long. (Though time slots are customizable, depending on your needs.) I currently see clients only via telehealth (Zoom). There may be occasional in-person options for clients in Seattle or South Florida—feel free to inquire. I recommend that we meet once-a-week, at least initially, so we can build the continuity and momentum necessary for the growth you seek.

My rates are $150 for a 60-minute session and $225 for a 90-minute session.* I also offer 4 or 8 session packages at discounts from single-session rates. You can explore my offerings and purchase sessions here. *I maintain a limited number of sliding scale spots on my schedule for clients who are experiencing financial need. Please reach out if this applies to you.

To get the most out of coaching, I expect both of us to 100% commit to showing up for all scheduled sessions. However, I understand that life happens and schedules and circumstances occasionally change. You may reschedule or cancel a scheduled session up to 48 hours in advance. Otherwise, you will be responsible for the full cost of the scheduled session, unless it is a true emergency.

Of course you don’t know. You don’t have to know. It’s brave that you took the first step by seeking out answers and landing here. It means you know you’re looking for something, and that’s a big deal. It means you know you want. I can’t tell you what you need. But I’d love to talk with you, answer your questions, and help you find some clarity on where to begin—and if this is the right place for you. Schedule your complimentary, 15-minute consultation with me here. I look forward to meeting you!